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Finding a mentor that can motivate you to success

Imagine you are on a vacation with your family. Because you were so busy, you couldn’t do much research about the place. You just packed, travelled to the city and now you are talking to hotel people, local market people to discover more about the place. That’s when an unknown cab driver meets you and becomes your tour guide for the remaining part of the journey. This tourist guide picks you up from your hotel, takes you across the city and nearby locations as you seem to enjoy the journey with your family. The sheer little knowledge of the place around, opening and closing time of popular destinations, charges and tickets for commonly visited tourist places and when the best time to avoid rush hour – adds up to your making your journey into a memorable and comfortable one. Life suddenly becomes all the simpler and you thank the person after completing the journey which turns out to be probably the most memorable trip of your life. This tourist guide may be the smallest part of your overall life; however, his contribution resulted in the best trips you have ever had.

Imagine, how our lives could blossom, just like this brief vacation, if we all could have a mentor or a coach in the journey of life. We all need mentors - whether you are a student or a working professional or a surgeon or a businessman or a housewife – a mentor can help everyone at different points in one’s journey. Great soprano Renne Fleming has described mentors as “Outside Ears”, people who would give an absolute third party perspective and insights of the situation that you would normally miss out on your own. Bhagwad Gita beautifully articulates the mentor-mentee relationship between Arjuna and Lord Krishna when Arjuna faced challenges in identifying his true purpose and offered to run away from the battlefield.

Having a coach or mentor is not necessarily about finding someone who could help you navigate an unknown path as a google map would do. For any mentorship to succeed, there has to be baseline chemistry between a mentor and mentee, said Belle Rose Ragins a mentoring expert at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. It’s about a shared perspective and context which forms the basis of any great mentor-mentee relationship.

Some of the best motivational speakers in India act as mentors to millions of people as the students seek guidance and inspiration from their teacher.

I agree that the subject matter of human life is very complex and therefore one coach or mentor cannot probably do justice. However, finding the right mentor is the starting point of this journey and anyone can do it. Here is how you can identify a mentor/coach for your journey of life:

  • Mentors can be from any field

You may be a musician and a school principal can be a mentor for you. You may be a sportsperson and your mentor can be a choir singer. Some of the well-known leadership motivational speakers can be your mentors. The more different the perspective your mentor brings, the more pragmatic and unorthodox solutions he can offer to your challenges or seemingly looking challenges.

  • Mentors can be of any age

If you are working in a senior leadership position and feel that a young college intern cannot guide you, probably you are mistaken. We all would agree that our kids are much smarter than us. In the realm of motivational speaking, for example, there are many young people who have stories to tell. They do go on to become some of the top motivational speakers in India. Hence, age is just a numerical value and has no correlation with the value and expertise a younger person can offer.

  • Mentors are not celebrity gurus

Do not confuse mentors with celebrity gurus or coaches who may be too expensive to afford. Your next-door retired uncle, your neighbourhood NGO, a book or a blogger or a Twitter handle can be a mentor too. It depends on your individual requirement and your willingness to engage with the mentor.

  • You can have multiple mentors at different points in your lives

Often we get trapped that we can have only one mentor or coach in our lives. Just like the travel guide of Mount Abu cannot be an effective guide for Shimla, likewise, when one single guru and coach cannot be a single aide or mentor for all the challenges of life. At different points in your life, you may need a different coach or a mentor and it’s absolutely fine to find the most relevant person for the same.

  • Mentoring is not about religion

It’s important to understand that mentorship is not about any particular dharma, religion or creed. It is not about propagating religious discourses or promoting the superiority of one region or discourse over that of the other. The premise of the mentor and mentee relationship is personal advancement with the intent of transforming the potential of the mentee to peak levels of performance and raising the bar.

  • There is nothing like an ideal mentor

Mentoring is the relationship between two people – a mentor and a mentee. Just like you are not an ideal human being, likewise, it will be for mentors too. No one is ideal and having that as an expectation itself is unjust. Learn from experience, embrace the collective wisdom and accept the limitations for making the relationship to work. Often, it is not necessary that we have a person as a mentor, at least not physically. With the advent of technology, even motivational speaker videos can be our mentors, that help us get through each day.

For a lot of us who are in constant search of finding a mentor, guide and torchbearer in our lives, failure is a mentor too. It often gives us lessons without speaking a single word. You just need to understand the grammar and language to decode the real lessons it offers.

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